Category: Portrait
CAN it, Sister!
On March 6, 2016 by hottomatopinupacademy8No clothes? We have plenty. Too scared? We’ll talk through it. (see also: Liquor) Too expensive? We offer payment plans. Feeling bad about your shape? We will show you how to rock it!
Get Your “Cin” On!
On February 23, 2016 by hottomatopinupacademy8Don’t even TRY to get the “boob sweat” seats because Hot Tomatoes are going to arrive in droves..EARLY for this hot show!! PROMISE.
Hey Future Self, I Got Your Back
On February 20, 2016 by hottomatopinupacademy8I abhor the act of filling my car with fuel.
No matter the season, when I go for a fill-up, it is pouring the rain or unreasonably windy or $20 a gallon or apocalyptically busy. Also, I almost ALWAYS only have cash. Right. You know..One can’t just pump their gas anymore and then pay in the little store. Nope. You have to PRE-PAY. So, now I am forced to play a little guessing game.
“Let’s see, the last time I filled up, I had 3 gas bars remaining and it was $22.76.Today I have (I lean and squint) one, two, three, four? or is that 5?” I begin again. “Only four” I declare out loud to no one.
So, the next step is to search my memory for the approximate price that gasoline was the last time I was forced to do this disagreeable task. Long passed are the days when gas would waver only a couple of pennies over a year. Now, gas might have been $1.29 last week and $2.39 this week. Math was never a strong subject for me. Then, I have to try and recall whether I got plus or premium last and if I had any rewards points. “Oh, it’s no use! I’ll just put uummm THIRTY in.” There. At least a decision has been made. I grab my twenty and a crumpled ten and travel out into the inclement weather and into the over-lit “convenience” store.
Love, a Many Splintered Thing
On February 14, 2016 by hottomatopinupacademy8But damn if anyone gives two hoots that you managed, in a single, insignificant motion, to firmly embed a microscopic bit of plunger handle into the side of your middle finger while trying to sink oversized golden retriever excrement into the toilet without flooding the bathroom! Nope. Zero hoots.
Witchy Woman
On February 4, 2016 by hottomatopinupacademy8Before long, I was curing all of the neighborhood boys with plantain and dandelions. Have a cold? Eat a flower!